Gathering With Spirit

Go to our Newsletter to see this months topic and invitation.

Young and adult women, no matter their age and regardless of their economic or social situation, easily lose touch with the source of their inspiration and creativity. Balance slips away through overwhelming demands and stresses; our convictions and passions are dulled by tedium or work, our hopes and vision are lost to life’s eroding struggles and conflicting priorities.

Yet women are creators, in essence.

We birth life, in all its various forms. We tend and nurture our creations: children, plants, projects, relationships. We recognize what is needed for their optimal development and growth. Unless we’ve lost our connection to our deepest selves through overwork or abuse, we instinctively see beauty in search of expression or dis-ease calling to our compassionate hearts.When we’ve nurtured ourselves – given time to the callings of our hearts – our talents are irrepressible. Our creativity takes root in any soil that calls to us and makes a home there — growing, branching out, adapting and blossoming as we mature.

So, what nurtures women’s hearts? How can we learn to listen more intently to our deepest callings? How can we best counteract the less obvious yet still insidious cultural and societal limitations still halting our progress, despite a generation of women’s consciousness? And how can we more consistently and powerfully value and encourage women’s visions of a better world yet to be?

The vision of Claiming Our Voices begins here. We recognize that women in Western Massachusetts, as well as women everywhere need the support of a caring community.

We need time to step away from their lives’ demands in order to hear the quiet murmurings of their soul’s wisdom.
We need to experience the power of compassion and open hearted presence as they listen to the needs and perspectives of other women — students and grandmothers, professionals and stay-at-home moms, married and single women, women of privilege and others struggling to pay the rent — whose lives offer different challenges. Differences lose their power to separate when hearts open in deep sharing.
And we often need encouragement to value their unique perspective, voice and talents AND to take active steps toward making these visible and powerful in the world.

To that end, Claiming Our Voices connects women monthly through a newsletter and pot luck dinners called Gathering with Spirit. These circles intentionally promote a safe, caring and diverse community where each woman’s reflections are honored without interruption, and respect for confidentiality and diversity of thought are foundational. Each month’s topic follows a theme introduced several weeks earlier in the newsletter. Some of these include: intuition, the power of love and fear, creativity, nurturance, play, sensuality, and balance.

As a part of our structure, we follow guidelines for group work organized by the Concord Institude.

Circle. FORM A CIRCLE, IF POSSIBLE, AND WORK WITHIN THIS FORMAT. IF NOT POSSIBLE, WORK IN THE SPIRIT OF A CIRCLE—NON-HIERARCHICAL, INCLUSIVE, CONTAINING.

Slow down. SLOW DOWN FROM YOUR HABITUAL PACE OF INTERACTION AND TAKE ALL THE TIME YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO YOURSELF AND OTHERS, TO EXPRESS, TO INTERACT.

Breathe. BREATHE FULLY AND REST IN THIS RHYTHM OF BREATHING AS YOU PARTICIPATE IN THE GROUP.

Silence. TOLERATE, ACCEPT, AND WELCOME SILENCE IN THE GROUP, EITHER WHEN CALLED FOR BY A GROUP MEMBER, OR WHEN IT FALLS SPONTANEOUSLY.

Truth of Experience. SPEAK THE TRUTH OF YOUR EXPERIENCE, MOMENT TO MOMENT AND OVER TIME. THIS INCLUDES DISAGREEMENT, NEGATIVE FEELING, AND THE EXPERIENCE OF BEING DISCONNECTED—THESE BEING THE HARDEST TO EXPRESS.

Deep listening/presence. LISTEN TO EACH OTHER DEEPLY AND WITH PRESENCE. LET GO OF REHEARSING YOUR RESPONSE, OR STRATEGIZING.

Welcome/appreciate differences. EXPRESS DIFFERENCES AND APPRECIATE OTHERS’, EVEN IF THIS CAUSES DISCOMFORT. HOLD THE DIFFERENCES AS A CREATIVE PART OF THE GROUP’S EXPERIENCE, NOT AS SOMETHING TO BE AVOIDED.

No blame/judgment. SUSPEND JUDGMENT/BLAME OF SELF AND OTHERS AND PRACTICE SIMPLY BEING WITH YOUR OWN AND/OR THE OTHER PERSON’S EXPERIENCE.

Hold intensity. AT MOMENTS OF INTENSITY, HOLD THIS EXPERIENCE IN YOUR AWARENESS WITHOUT REACTING, OR TRYING TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. LET IT LIVE IN THE GROUP AND BE CONTAINED WITHIN THE CIRCLE.

Welcome the unknown. LET THE UNKNOWN OF YOUR, AND OTHERS’ EXPERIENCE SIMPLY BE, RATHER THAN SEEKING TO EXPLAIN, OR CONTROL, EVENTS IMMEDIATELY.

Patience. HAVE PATIENCE WITH THE WORKINGS OF THE GROUP AND THE TIME IT TAKES TO GROW AND CHANGE, BOTH INDIVIDUALLY AND COLLECTIVELY.

Enjoy the Process. ENTER INTO THE MOMENT TO MOMENT CHANGES IN EXPERIENCE, BOTH INDIVIDUAL AND GROUP, THAT NECESSARILY CONSTITUTE THE MULTI-DIMENSIONAL PROCESS OF HUMAN HEALING, DEVELOPMENT AND CREATIVE WORK.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Speaking Your Truth March 2009

How are you at speaking the truth? Your truth? It’s so much easier for many of us to just play nice. To keep the peace. To let the issue float into the past and let a million other daily details crowd for center stage.

There are times, of course, when we can sense that it’s just best to let it go. Don Miguel Ruiz suggests in his book The Four Agreements not to take anything personally. Not to amp up the drama by giving it any unnecessary energy. Choosing not to take offense, and assuming that crazy remark was just a free radical exclamation mark in someone’s already bad day, can keep our own day from going down the tubes.

But then there are those times when something just gets stuck in our craw and won’t go away. Or we observe an injustice that can’t be ignored.

I’m wondering how you deal with these times. And how responsive you are to your own inner knowing.

In this time of wide ranging perspectives on nearly everything, most of us hold the honoring of diversity of thought as one of our highest values. I know I don’t want to come off as judgmental or worse yet, closed minded or arrogant. But then something inside me – that voice I’m always talking about claiming – is jangled by another’s unconscious behavior, and there I am, face to face with my own Truth.

I can turn myself inside out seeing the other side of the situation, imagining how this person could have come to his or her understanding based on life experience….. and on and on.

Or I minimize the importance of what I’m thinking or feeling, saying that it’s just my opinion—and maybe not really True, with a capital T.

Or maybe it’s just not that big a deal.

Sometimes I just numb out to that gnawing truth eating away at me inside. Distractions work so well for that. A busy schedule. Food. Or there’s the excuses…. I need to get through the day, to make life work.

Or I don’t want to face the difficulty or change that might be necessary if I give this pesky thing voice.

And then … there’s the mess I fear I’ll create by speaking out, saying what is really true for me.

OK, this is getting embarrassing. Can you tell just how good I am at talking myself out of anything that could create conflict? Guess that’s why this voice thing is getting so much attention in my life.

But I have a few girlfriends who just say what they think, and that’s that. Sometimes they pay a price for there honesty, but I respect their candor, and how well they trust their own voice, come what may.

So here we are, back where we started. What’s it like for you to speak your truth… or not? What’s given you the courage to speak? And what’s been lost when you haven’t?

Let’s make this the topic of next Tuesday, March 24th’s gathering. Bring a dish to share and a story from your life. Tell us what’s happened when you’ve spoken out, or about a time you’re still wishing you had. Come at 6 for dinner, or if you’re too pressed for time, join the circle at 7:30. If you come late, plan to park at the train station or on Brainard Avenue, just around the corner. And if you do find a spot on Benton, please park only on my side of the street so emergency vehicles could get through. We’ll be finished about 9.

One more thing that may interest some of you… Several years ago nine women from the Gathering with Spirit meetings formed a smaller group to focus on moving along their own projects or intentions with the support and structure created by a committed group.

Initially this Walking Our Talk group agreed to meeting every other week for four months. Maia Conty coached us as we set out on this adventure. After the initial four month goal setting period our shared successes amazed us! We celebrated our achievements, whether financial, professional or personal, and then refused to disband. Getting together was just too good.

We continued to meet monthly in a supportive capacity through this past fall when we reorganized to step into the next round of our own personal voice claiming with commitments to new or continued projects.

Now nearly three years later, we are excited to offer the possibility of a new group forming. You may wish to read a bit more about the successes of this process and comments from participants at http://claimingourvoices.org/walking-our-talk/

So here are the details:

Anyone interested in exploring this opportunity should attend or have attended the larger Gathering with Spirit meetings in order to comprehend the structure and values inherent in Claiming Our Voices’ circle work.

Early in April the group will meet and explore working together. Then on Monday April 13th at 6:30 pm, the original WOT group will host the new group, sharing by example the format and style that’s made this experience so successful for its participants. Each WOT meeting follows similar guidelines as the Gatherings… timed sharing, no cross talk or advice unless requested, focused attention and honest sharing. Meetings last two hours. Participants agree to attend a pre-determined percentage of meetings to facilitate deep and effective process.

Please contact me at Mary@ClaimingOurVoices.org if you are intrigued.

. . . . . . .

Coming Back to Love February 2009

February is all pink and red and white. It’s Valentine’s Day, that month devoted to romantic love. I’m glad for a reminder to celebrate my continuing adventure with David and the joy that love brings in our lives.

But sometimes it all can get a bit saccharin. Or maybe just too limited. Too proscribed.Today I really want to write about coming back to love. Love of a partner, a child, ourselves. In the last few days David and I have been through a recent reworking of one of our longstanding conflicts. We’ve worked this one every way we know, and still it rears it’s ugly head every now and then, reminding us that behind the busy-ness of our full lives there are still those places, hiding deep inside, that need healing and love.

But that’s the dilemma. How do we come back to love? How do we let go of the pain and disappointment and of a particular shadow and come back to the Light. It’s the same question, no matter who the story is about… a daughter, spouse, friend, parent. But I think it may be most difficult when we’ve lost love for ourselves.

Sometimes we don’t even notice when the good stuff begins to wane and we’re left feeling just a bit off. We’re busy with our lives, work, friends. We say we’re all right. Just fine. But really we’re not.

We look in the mirror and don’t like what we see. We start to notice first the wrinkles or the flab, instead of the smile that lights our face. What we don’t like becomes our focus. Annoying habits, those traits we’ve tried to expunge. Then the worries start. Too much to do, and what if…! Now we’re down for the count. Separate from our own love.

So what brings you back? How do you come back to love for yourself or someone else? What works for each of us? Last month Suzi said she winks at herself in the mirror every day! It is kind of hard to be too sour when you see that reflection shining back at you! Actually I think a smile comes with a wink automatically.

But what else? Dancing helps me, if I weren’t so damn resistant to feeling better! Sometimes it may take a while to let go, but doing what I know will help is really my salvation. Doing it when I’m sure I don’t really want to can change everything. And that goes for making up too, reaching out to someone else when the good feeling is gone.

Putting Ethan to bed at night, hearing “I love you, Mom” brings me back to love every time. I keep certain books near for inspiration, and others just to help me forget my funk. And sometimes all I need is a good night’s sleep to wake up feeling better.

Can you come out on a Friday night this month? Let’s try the 27th. Pot luck starts at 6 and the circle at 7:30. Don’t forget to RSVP to let me know you’re coming…. Let’s wrap up about 9 and then go down to Napa for GREAT live jazz and a chance the move our hips to the beat! Even when I think I’m too tired to imagine going out, this prescription works every time. I end up feeling great in my body and loving life!

So bring your victory stories, the ones that redeemed a dismal day or saved a faltering friendship. Let’s remember and celebrate what’s worked to bring us back to Love, and take home inspiration for a more loving future.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

What’s your pleasure? January 2009

It’s a fresh start, this month of January! The heavy demands of holiday too much-ness make way for clear blue skies and the brilliant white blanket of snow on our Berkshire fields. Almost without noticing it, we’re getting a few extra minutes of sunlight every day, propelling us steadily on our way toward summer. The holiday decorations are all back in their boxes (almost) and I’m craving a purer lifestyle… no more mimosas for a LONG time, I can assure you! Even this far into January I still find myself cooking up greens and brown rice. They just taste so good after all that sugar. It wasn’t so long ago that this kind of diet was the retribution I chastised myself with after gorging on everything I loved to eat from Thanksgiving till New Years. But it seems that the older I get, the more my body speaks to me in messages too strong to ignore. Or perhaps I’m just becoming more sensitive to her prompts – listening more closely and learning to honor my body instead of just indulge it. Or maybe it’s a combination of the two. It helps that I can’t get away with the overindulgence anymore. Knowing I’ll wake up to a grueling hangover the next morning helps me make reasonable choices out on the town. Well, most of the time! That big piece of carrot cake with cream cheese frosting just isn’t worth the foggy headedness and discomfort for days to come. I really have no recourse but to listen these days. So, I’ll still eat that chocolate ganache… but whew, two bites is enough. I’m discovering that what I once thought of as ascetic restitution – my brown rice and kale — has become my pleasure. It just feels good! And knowing it’s giving me fiber, all kinds of B vitamins and the alkalinity I need is just icing on the cake, shall we say!But beyond all this is my growing desire to make pleasure a more prominent part of my life. Not the cheap kind of pleasure that I have to pay for the next day, but the kind that makes me feel good tomorrow and next week. We all work so hard! — and are responsible for so much and so many. We care about the world and our community. And we want to do all we can to make this Earth a better place for generations to come. But too often we overwhelm ourselves with our to-do lists. And it’s not just our obligations; we want to do it all! I’m calling this syndrome responsibility on steroids. Sure, we try to make time for that walk or a yoga class or working out at the gym. But sometimes fitting even those little gifts into our busy lives turns into a burden.So this year I’m determined to look at this pleasure thing differently! To make room – actually choose ahead of time – to make my life the one I want to live. Regena Thomashauer has great teaching on this. You can read her book, Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts, or soak in some inspiration next Wednesday evening when some of her Berkshire compatriots will join us for this month’s Gathering. They’ve devoted themselves to making pleasure a daily practice, and the changes in their lives are unmistakable. What Regena and Christiane Northrup, in her new book The Secret Pleasures of Menopause, remind us, and what I know to be true, is that I’m in charge of my choices. Yes, I know, there are some things we don’t have choice about. But I’m finally soaking in the truth that we have choice about how we choose to think about every one of our daily duties. We can choose to see them as onerous — a pain in the neck – and I still do, sometimes. Or we can find joy in them, or some bit of humor, or just laugh at ourselves for taking them so damned seriously. You know all this stuff, I know, but making it a part of living is the challenge, right?So, are you feeling a distant calling toward more pleasure this year? Maybe it’s even trying to knock your door down, pleading to be heard? Are you willing to listen? To amp up your capacity for delight? Joy? Fun? And, if so, how will you do it, in the midst of this cold stark winter? Or is this whole article annoying you? Either way, we’ll have a great conversation next Wednesday. Let’s inspire one another Wednesday, January 28th. Come at 6 so we can finish by 9. Bring something to accompany my big pot of vegetable soup, and your curiosity to discover just how pleasurable 2009 can be! And grab a friend who may not know about us yet.Oh, and RSVP right away, mary@ClaimingOurVoices.org, so I know you’re coming…. See you next week.

Mary

———————-

Gathering with Spirit November 2008

With the coming of the cold winds of winter on the tails of this balmy autumn, I’m beginning to crave warm sweaters and my soft woolen long underwear, warm hearty soup and more quiet.

But here come the holidays! So much to do, so many details to attend to, so many others to take care of! Just as the Earth’s cycles take us toward a more contemplative time, I watch the energies of my cherished seasonal traditions push me toward overdrive. All these jobs to complete, goals to accomplish! I’m in my masculine mode… doing, doing, doing. If you’re in a similar place, sometimes even intimacy with the ones you love seems like another chore to check off the list. And too few hours with your head on the pillow might be the only gift you have left for yourself.

So, it feels like time to come back to our feminine center. This year we’ve gathered in circle time to talk about the beauty of our masculine essence, our need for balance, our sensual connection to Nature, the gift of speaking the truth, remembering our ancestral heritage, and what deeply nurtures us. Our gathering have focused on a partnership way of living, to quote Riane Eisler, sharing the creation of each of our evenings, and enjoying each other’s contributions without competition. We’ve laughed and cried together, as we cheered each other on. This month seems like the perfect time to relax into our senses.

We are physical beings. As women, our cycles are tuned to the moon’s phases. We have the capacity to birth and sustain new life with these bodies of ours. And our joys and pleasures are activated by our bodies’ sensations. Sight, sound, scent, taste and touch…these are gifts of the Divine meant for our pleasure! But the busyness of our crazy schedules, and this culture that rewards achievement and expects constant striving, divorces us from the joys in which we were meant to revel. So…I think it’s time to REVEL!

We’ll meet again at my house, 24 Benton Avenue in Great Barrington, on the Monday before Thanksgiving, November 24th. I’m imagining the evening to be a celebration of all the luxurious, comfortable, lusciousness of being a woman.

Remember that song —”I Like Being a Girl”? Let’s recall why we like being the women we are. I’m inviting you to dress in the way that MOST lets you feel into your feminine essence. Maybe that’s something soft, or roomy, or sexy. I’m trusting that you’ll dress for yourself; your own pleasure is the key here. What makes your skin and soul feel fabulous? I’ve arranged for the males in my family to be away, so we can completely enjoy the circle of sisters without self-consciousness.

What do you most love tasting? Our potlucks have always been delectable, but you may wish to expand beyond the obvious chocolate sensations (although I’m sure we’ll have a festival of dark dessert delights!) to the smooth texture of goat cheese or the tang of unexpected orange peel in some savory dish. Think scent, too. Cloves! Onions! Lemon! What titillates your nerve endings? Excites your palate? Begin now to contemplate what entrances your taste buds this season…what YOU love most. This is really all about your own personal delight, so give yourself some time to imagine into the experience you want to create just for you.

Do make a point to schedule on your calendar for that day extra time for a bath and a pampering of your body. You might even start practicing now!!! I have this amazing salt scrub from Asia Luna! Its exfoliating crystals bring my skin to life and the essential oils leave me feeling soft and smooth and wonderfully fragranced for hours. I think sexy would be the word I’d use for the glow I experience afterward. And for no one’s pleasure but my own!

During these next few weeks, I’d like to unilaterally ban any negative remarks aimed at our physical selves. Why not wrap yourself all day (or month!) in appreciation for the amazing body that you’ve been birthed into? What good does it do to focus on what seems less than perfect when this is what is, as Byron Katie would remind us. Step with me into something more in line with who we’re becoming and choose the thoughts that create the reality you want. Try noticing the parts of you that feel soft and beautiful. Like a good lover would! And if you still need convincing, google Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts, or buy her book.

So drop by any time after 5:30 if you’re able, and we’ll try to eat at 6. We’ll circle at 7:30, but you won’t want to miss any part of this night, so try to come in time to enjoy yourself with other women determined to do so, too. Give yourself the gift of a luxurious evening. And stay after we’ve concluded at 9, if you’d like, to help with the clean-up and enjoy the afterglow of a great community of women enjoying themselves and life.

Don’t forget to RSVP to mary@ClaimingOurVoices.org. Please come! Make this your holiday gift to yourself.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

November Gathering with Spirit November 2008

With the coming of the cold winds of winter on the tails of this balmy autumn, I’m beginning to crave warm sweaters and my soft woolen long underwear, warm hearty soup and more quiet.

So, it feels like time to come back to our feminine center. This year we’ve gathered in circle time to talk about the beauty of our masculine essence, our need for balance, our sensual connection to Nature, the gift of speaking the truth, remembering our ancestral heritage, and what deeply nurtures us. Our gathering have focused on a partnership way of living, to quote Riane Eisler, sharing the work of creating each of our evenings and enjoying each other’s contributions without competition. We’ve laughed and cried together, as we cheered each other on. This month seems like the perfect time to relax into our senses.

Remember that song —"I Like Being a Girl"? Let’s recall why we like being the women we are. I’m inviting you to dress in the way that MOST lets you feel into your feminine essence. Maybe that’s something soft, or roomy, or sexy. I’m trusting that you’ll dress for yourself; your own pleasure is the key here. What makes your skin and soul feel fabulous? I’ve arranged for the males in my family to be away, so we can completely enjoy the circle of sisters without self-consciousness.

What do you most love tasting? Our potlucks have always been delectable, but you may wish to expand beyond the obvious chocolate sensations (although I’m sure we’ll have a festival of dark dessert delights!) to the smooth texture of goat cheese or the tang of unexpected orange peel in some savory dish. Think scent, too. Cloves! Onions! Lemon! What titillates your nerve endings? Excites your palate? Begin now to contemplate what entrances your taste buds this season. What YOU love most. This is really all about your own personal delight, so give yourself some time to imagine into the experience you want to create just for you.

And during these next few weeks, I’d like to unilaterally ban any negative remarks aimed at our physical selves. Why not wrap yourself all day (or month!) in appreciation for the amazing body that you’ve been birthed into? What good does it do to focus on what seems less than perfect when this is what is, as Byron Katie would remind us. Step with me into something more in line with who we’re becoming and choose the thoughts that create the reality you want. Try noticing the parts of you that feel soft and beautiful. Like a good lover would!

So drop by any time after 5:30 if you’re able, and we’ll try to eat at 6. We’ll circle at 7:30, but you won’t want to miss any part of this night. Give yourself the gift of a luxurious evening. And stay after we’ve concluded at 9, if you’d like, to help with the clean-up and enjoy the afterglow of a great community of women enjoying themselves and life.

Don’t forget to RSVP to mary@ClaimingOurVoices.org. Please come! Make this your holiday gift to yourself.

October Gathering With Spirit October 2008

Dear Woman of the Clear Blue Sky and Brilliant Autumn Leaves,

It’s Sunday afternoon and I’m finding myself gazing out the window. Has there ever been such a spectacular autumn? I’ve celebrated by October birthday day after day — why do we limit it to only a few hours?!? — by walking and hiking the trails and paths that surround my home. Nearly everyday I’m out, with friends or alone, exclaiming at the foliage, clasping my heart and stopping in my tracks at the mountain view or one blazing leaf at my feet. I can’t help rhapsodizing over the milk week bursting their cocoons with fairy down or the last of the purple Michaelmas daisies and goldenrod covered with bees, gorging on their final opportunity for the season’s nectar. Just yesterday it was the crunch of the now-dry bright red carpet of maple leaves beneath my feet that stopped me. I hadn’t heard that sound in nearly a year. And the dusty scent, unmistakable for October!

But it’s time to turn on the heat. Two nights ago frost whitened our yard and browned the last of the zinnias and basil. We’ve been stacking wood for the fireplace and doing all those chores that demand our attention, before the cold’s bite makes them too onerous. This sort of work connects us to our ancestors since the beginning of civilization. We prepare the home, and ourselves, for winter. It’s the doing — the masculine goal oriented sort of effort — that plans ahead and protects us. Without that we’d be left to the elements when winter came.

This month, I’d love to explore how our inner masculine protects and defends us. We live in a culture that loves this sort of thing. You know… efficiency, productivity, setting goals and meeting them. And I’ll be the first to say that I’m glad to be safe and warm all winter thanks to the discoveries and innovations propelled by the forward thinking masculine energy exemplified by our society. We’ve just gone overboard a bit, shall we say!

We as women strap on our boots and do what it takes. Many of us earn the only income that supports our family. Like that country western song… We bring home the bacon, and fry it up in the pan. And most of us are into achievement — we just call it doing our best, no matter our employment status. Only we tend to get a little carried away with this masculine doing thing. The yang role is pretty seductive. The culture values it… heck, we value it. But in the process of focusing on our goals and making them happen, we risk losing something else, less concrete, but no less important. There’s often no time left for our inner lives, our feeling life, our intuitive imaginations. The irrational and mysterious offer incomparable gifts, as Gail Straub writes in her recent memoir, Returning to my Mother’s House: Taking Back the Wisdom of the Feminine. And disowning the realms of silence, simplicity, and solitude where the interior matures may leave us bankrupt on a deeper level than our bank account.

I’m envisioning this protective inner masculine in female form as a mother bear protecting her cubs. We all have felt her roar within us, when a child runs into the street or we hear the stories of women in Darfur. So how do we empower her for our own protection? How fierce would she be in defense of an hour’s quiet time? How loudly would she growl if someone tried to prevail upon her to quit making her art? Would she snarl if the to-do list threatened to eclipse a planned walk in the woods?

Let’s speak next Wednesday, October 29th about our valiant masculine energies and their appropriate usefulness. We’ll honor our productive, in-the-world selves with the care and respect they so deserve, and ask them to serve as protector for our nurturing inner life. Can you praise what you do, and brag a little? What has your masculine, yang self pulled off this month? What accomplishments are you proud of? And then… let’s consider how this powerful mama bear can defend the less tangible inner life. How are you wanting to nurture this quiet place this winter, and what steps will your masculine take to make them happen?

As usual bring something yummy to share for our 6 o’clock pot luck. I’m making butternut squash soup. We’ll circle at 7:30 and finish by 9. Bring a friend if you like. And Please RSVP if you’re able.

Also save a spot on your November calendar for next month’s gathering… Monday, November 24th. We’ll celebrate the feminine that evening with all the beauty and sensuousness she adores. Please come join me for both!!!

And a little heads up — in just a few days I hope to send you a much more polished and beautiful version of this e-mail, in the form of a Claiming Our Voices newsletter. You’ll find quotes from girls in our newly inaugurated Get a Life program for 7th and 8th grade girls, and thank yous to the great women who have already joined the Fairy Godmother Circle, in support of that programming. I’ll include news about the nine women in the Walking Our Talk group, re-energizing for another 4 month romp to voice their creativity in the next re-incarnation of their personal goals. So, let me know what you think of our new look, and I’ll hope to see you next week.

September Gathering with Spirit September 2008

Dear Still Summering Shimmering Women of the Berkshires!

I’m sure your summer was as glorious as mine! Warm weather, sunshine, laughter, and all that GREEN! Time in Nature, our bodies bared to sun and wind and water.

Our family spent the last few weeks of summer on Block Island in a funky old house just a few steps from the rocky east coast. Every morning the sun’s vermillion rays threw a pink glow onto the walls of our bedroom, wakening us to a new day. This sun shower became my daily morning meditation, brightening as dawn passed from that brilliant red, through every shade of orange and gold, into pure blinding light, a million momentary sparkles reflecting off each wave’s crest. And every shimmer of light became the day’s blessing. My only challenge was how to take in that much Light! Metaphors everywhere!

All through the spring and summer we swing out into extraversion. We’re drawn into the world and the huge and busy life the Berkshires offers us. We visit old friends and distant family, celebrate new beginnings and culminations with weddings and graduations. We fly free with less restrictive schedules and more loose time for dipping into whatever catches our fancies. We’re pulled out by the sun’s light.

And now it’s almost the Autumn Equinox, the Earth’s turning. For just a day each of us experiences equal minutes of daylight and darkness. We balance between all that light and the darkness to come. And then we’ll turn inward, with the Earth, toward concentrated work and focus, building our inner forces again, mirroring the cycle of living things all around us.

There’re so fleeting, these moments of balance, heh? Obviously the Universe only gives us two equal days of light and darkness each year. And maybe S/he knows a thing or two. We make balance into some longed-for perfect state, when it’s hardly ever a reality.

Actually we’re always somewhere on the continuum between more or less light. Maybe accepting what is, in ourselves and those around us — the imbalance — actually brings peace. At the very least, there’s less struggle in approaching life this way, and that may be the kindest way to start this new phase as we enter into the dark time.

This seems to be one of the gifts of our Gatherings with Spirit. As we allow for the diversity of each woman’s uninterrupted thoughts in the circle, we give ourselves permission to speak with candor about our own musings. Every contribution is accepted — received as each woman’s truth.

It’s been ages since we’ve been together! And as the days begin to cool and shorten, I’m longing to reconnect. So let’s circle again on the first full day of Autumn — Tuesday, September 23. Bring your thoughts on balance and acceptance of the imbalance that life is. Please arrive near 6 pm with a pot luck dish to share. I’ll have the last remnants of summer’s bounty merging into soup on the stove. Let me know you’re coming with a reply to this e-mail, and feel free to bring a friend who may be new to our circle.

Mark your calendars for this year’s remaining Gatherings. Wednesday, October 29th and Monday, November 24th. I’m attaching the guidelines we use for our gatherings, based on the work of Tom Yoemans. Hopefully you’ll have a chance to refresh your memory before our next meeting.

I’m expectantly awaiting our re-gathering. There’ll be news to share about Get a Life, the girls’ groups starting this month,and so many joyous hugs! See you then.

July Gathering with Spirit July 2008

Please join

Claiming our Voices and Senta Reis

one of our GIRLS!!! facilitators

Breathing Into Nature with our Senses, Soul and Spirit

An artistic adventure – no previous experience necessary!

And a preview into the spirit of our work with

our 13 and 14 year old daughters because

Every girl is our daughter

Come move your Body

and reconnect to Nature and your Creativity

Tuesday, July 15th

24 Benton Avenue

10:30 – 12

and then

join us for July’s Gathering with Spirit pot luck to follow

an informal summer luncheon

12 – 1:30

We’ll reflect on the morning’s experience with Senta

And

Envision the kind of community we wish for girls everywhere

that enhances and sustains our lives as women

June Gathering With Spirit June 2008

Dear Women of Voice,

Life is such a balancing act. I’ve been seeing it in nature everywhere – the weather this spring has been capricious. First hot, then cold; then dry, then rainy. Wind and calm. Violent thunder storms and then a glorious week of June perfection. And perhaps what feels erratic in the moment is really completely balanced, if our view is long enough.

I think the same is true of relationship. And voice. Each of us, no matter the gender, is born with a tendency for more or less ease in expressing ourselves. And we have years of life experience contributing to the changing tone and volume of our communication. But we as women seems to be more aware of a delicacy of balance than many of our brothers. Still, we want to speak what’s so in our hearts and minds, and be heard. Maybe that’s why self-actualization, having a voice of our own and creating a life that reflects our being, has become one of the most profound needs for women at this time… after so many millennia of subjugation.

But we also crave finesse in this balancing act. Even when we feel impassioned, we don’t want to plow others over with our fire, or too often dominate the situation. We’ve known the impact of injudicious force… the disregard and arrogance of an overpowering and insensitive voice. That’s not the kind of power we usually covet. Instead we want to respect others and be worthy of their respect. Honor each person, as we wish to be honored.

Getting this balance right has been one of my life’s greatest challenges. And maybe yours, too. How do we speak up for ourselves while honoring the voice of those with whom we share our lives?

Maybe you remember a time when speaking what was true for you, even in the face of almost certain pain and confrontation, proved to balance the scales and, in the long run, strengthen intimacy. Or perhaps you are haunted by a time when you ignored the small voice of your inner knowing and, while perhaps retaining harmony, lost something far more valuable.

Next Tuesday, June 24^th, we’ll begin this conversation. The circle changes every month with young women from Simon’s Rock, moms with young children, women balancing profession and family, and wise elders enriching our sharing. Invite a friend if you’d like, and join us for pot luck supper at 6 and our circle at 7:30. Park in front of my house at 24 Benton Avenue (not the other side, in case of emergencies!) RSVPs are great, but come even if you decide at the last minute. There’s always enough food and an extra chair.

And if life precludes your physical presence, let me know if this theme interests you, and you’d like to be kept on the monthly mailing list or would prefer, for now at least, to have less e-mail to sort through.

May Gathering with Spirit May 2008

Dear Women Who Remember,

Today we recall those who gave their lives in the service of our country. For most of us, these were men we didn’t know, but are revered for their sacrifice. Whatever our politics or feelings about the war our country now perpetuates, we remember those men, people just like us, who chose to defend what they valued with their lives.

Maybe the holiday is also for re-membering. Remembering that we are really all One. We are members of families, communities, countries, our world, but at a deeper level, we are one species, all energy in physical form.

And yet, we are all born to particular parents. We are individuals. Our genes reflect unique combinations of traits, as well as our heritage and ethnicity. Our personalities were shaped by our home life. So while we are, at the most basic level, more similar than different – more like one another than ferns or oxygen– we owe much of who we are to those who have come before us.

As we observe this national holiday, perhaps also it’s a good time to remember and honor those women who came before us, who have given the best of their lives for us. Mothers, grandmothers, aunts, our ancestors. And perhaps neighbors, teachers, friends who’ve passed on. Each of us has been the recipient of their gifts — wisdom, kindnesses, attention, care, love.

As you’re reading this, I’m guessing someone particular has come to mind. Maybe someone showed up in your consciousness you didn’t expect. Trust your initial impulse and consider the gift she gave you for which you are most grateful. And bring that reflection to this Friday’s Gathering with Spirit. Come tell this woman’s story – it may be a more integral part of yours than you’d imagined.

So, it’s our first Friday Gathering ever – May 30^th – and chosen specifically for those who can’t get away during the week. Or those of you who live too far away to make it back for work the next day. We’ll meet at 6 for potluck delights and celebrate the season with local and fresh delicacies… or whatever you can pull together after a long week.

I’m pasting here our guidelines for the circle work. You may wish to review them again before Friday’s meeting for current insights.

April Gathering with Spirit April 2008

Dear Springtime Lovelies!This is day eight of glorious weather… my broccoli and lettuces are in, and it’s only April! What happened to those dreary cold gray days of April showers? The buds on the maple tree outside my window couldn’t resist all this warmth, and plumped themselves out this past weekend in that tentative shade of light green reserved for just these few weeks of Springtime.I’m sitting here at my desk, having dragged myself in from the garden! And as always happens once my hands begin to work the dirt, I’m exquisitely happy! I don’t try to understand this peaceful, centered joy any more than to know beyond a doubt that I’m home in the earth. I gently place a seed in the valley my finger has made for it, cover the indentation with a blanket of soft soil and wait for the miracles of botany to serve me lunch in a few months.So I’m contemplating fertility — and seeing metaphors everywhere. The soil in my garden is made rich and dark by the addition of aged compost… mostly chicken shit! I just need to know when and how to apply the stuff. Similar to the way our lives are often made fertile from what we’d most like to avoid altogether, if we let it all age with a little consciousness.Worms aerate and fertilize the loam, moving nutrients from one part of the soil strata to another. They leave their own castings behind, and in the process, mix rich loam with hardened, less fertile soil. In the creative life, the mingling of disparate ideas, people or mediums often produce the most productive and delightful results.And there’s more! Think of all the ways the seed and it’s burgeoning life force, ignited by rain and sunshine, symbolize our own fertility. Our creative potential is kindled by the life-giving nurturance of our friends’ smiles and support…or the stillness of solitude…or the ferocity of pain or splendor.In ancient times, before our lives became so disconnected from our Mother Earth, this first day of planting was sacred. The Celts revered the beginning of their Spring calendar, February 2nd, as the day over-wintering seeds quickened beneath the earth. And the seeds planted by hand just after the soil could be worked, nurtured by sun and rain, grew into food those same hands harvested, cooked and ate. Without this sacred cycle there could be no life! When existence is so connected to the cycles of fertility it’s easy to see why our ancestors worshipped the natural world and honored May Day… the pinnacle of springtime…with festivals in celebration of the fertility of all life.So, come join us next Wednesday as we revive the old custom and bring on May. We’ll meet on April 30th, May Day Eve, here at 24 Benton Avenue in Great Barrington. Come at 6 with springtime food to share. Does anyone have ramps growing nearby, fiddle heads or nettles? Bring whatever foods remind you of the season – and dress for a celebration. Don’t forget to wear flowers in your hair, of course, to crown your beauty!We’ll gather in circle at 7:30 to rouse and activate our own fertility of mind, body and soul. Bring along your musings on the subject — with a poem, words or visuals if you like — and your practical observations on what fertilizes your own creativity — what seems essential to your regeneration.I can’t wait to see you next week!In Springtime ecstasy!Mary

November 2007 Gathering With Spirit

November 13, 2007 by gatheringwithspirit | Edit

Dearest Woman Full of Giving and Thanks,I’m so completely filled up this morning…. the turkey, or course, and the stuffing and gravy and potatoes and pie and whipped cream and …. Whew!I’m filled with the delight and challenge of being with family, and the intention and effort of giving so much to sustain this holiday… in order to create the kind of presence and beauty I need to fully let joy radiate through me. Doesn’t that sound great!?! Not that I pulled it off! I did learn that it’s what I want to do next Thanksgiving! I want to recognize what it is I need and plan ahead for more than who’s invited and what I’ll be cooking. I want to make my delight a priority, instead of trying to casually hope it into existence. I want to be proactive, to ask for what I want — in order to be in a state of giving thanks for what I have.So that’s what this Monday’s Gathering with Spirit is all about! And I really hope you can come! We have four weeks, give or take (!), till the next big holiday. December can be the most exhausting month of the year! We’re so relieved when it’s over. Or……. what’s the alternative? Can we plan RIGHT NOW for what we want to experience! Can we set the stage for letting in more joy, feeling more fully, creating the life we most want amid all the anticipation and expectation and distraction of the season?In my last e-mail I wrote about our sense of touch, and what most delights our skin. So I hope you’re contemplating just how you’ll adorn your own skin on the 26th… and the whole month long! Consider lounging in evening baths, slowly and adoringly stroking on body lotion and snuggling up in soft flannel sheets. And what else?I’m wanting to surround myself with beauty and Light this season, so I’ll make sure candlelight decorates this coming Monday evening. The soup will be bright yellow, and I’ll be wearing shimmery eye shadow and irredescence, in whatever form it takes. All to delight my sense of sight! Let’s see… the gold sparkles on top of those squares of Chocolate Springs Champagne Ganache. Light reflecting off San Pellegrino bubbly… or something even more indulgent? I hope I’m tempting you to imagine what would most delight your sight, as well as your touch! We can all be so appropriate and responsible and accountable — to everyone else. We’ve got that down. But what about the spark that lights you up? That makes you a delight to yourself … and, oh yea, everyone else. It’s really all about inviting in the goodies. Allowing yourself to indulge in the treats that most bring you alive.So…. get the rest you need this weekend. Recuperate from yesterday’s outward abundance with a little self-care and inner nurturence. And while you’re soaking in the tub or napping, dream up your own prescription for the coming month. Mix in a heavy dose of preventative medicine — early morning stillness and solitary walks in the woods, perhaps. And don’t neglect a few in-the-moment emergency remedies to salve that irritated holiday-crazed soul. Bring your ideas on Monday night or come ready to lean into the inspiration of your sisters… but don’t forget your calendars! We’ll incorporate a bit of ceremony to sanctify our covenant with ourselves.So Come, COME, C O M E!!!! Let yourself be inspired and indulged and delighted!Monday night, 6 – 9ish, Dress and pot luck to thrill your senses. Oh, and PLEASE RSVP, if you can. Otherwise, just show up!

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

October 2007 Gathering With Spirit

October 18, 2007 by gatheringwithspirit | Edit

Dear Women Colored by Autumn Light,We’re in the midst of my favorite time of year. All around reds and golds and corals decorate our days. Driving anywhere I suddenly find myself gasping in awe at the brilliance of a tree’s bright flash of color that just yesterday was some unremarkable part of the general green that’s blanketed our hills for months. And that green caused the same exclamation last spring when it so suddenly burst into my awareness. Then, it was the sun drawing life from within the tiny unfurling miracle, chlorophyl’s celebration. And now, after their darkening, thickening trek through summer, mature leaves find their crowning beauty in the golden glow emanating from within. They’ve soaked up so much of summer’s sunlight that they can’t help but return it again to the Earth. Fullness, then release.Change is everywhere, at every moment. We welcome in the new, and at the same time, say goodbye to what’s come before. Just as the growing things around us, we’re also in a constant state of change, always building up or releasing. Expanding or contracting. Like the leaves releasing their green this month, we too bid farewell to what no longer serves us, making space for what’s to come.I’d like to bring our attention to this topic for October. In the Celtic calendar October finishes the year. Our Latin neighbors celebrate the Day of the Dead and even our culture holds distant glimmers of this awareness as our children celebrate Halloween. So, what in our lives is ready to die? And what needs that death in order to be born?Let’s reflect on this with reverence for what we’re leaving behind. I’m reminded of a story about Japanese soldiers marooned on islands in the Pacific past the end of WW II. When these men were rescued, sometimes years later, they had to be told the truth… that the war was over and Japan had lost. Obviously they felt grief and despondency, but were met with acclamation and praise for the sacrifice they had offered to their country. Their soldiering skills weren’t needed anymore. These men returned to their homeland to ceremonies honoring their heroism. They received new employment, putting to more productive use their soldiering traits of courage and tenacity.So, what soldiers linger in your psyche, still fighting the old battles? Their service may have saved your life at one point, or advanced you toward your current success. But now their tactics are outmoded, from another time. They need acknowledgment for their years of work — real appreciation — and then reassignment!See how this metaphor might churn your inner life this coming week. And bring to our next Gathering with Spirit your revelations. You may choose to name your soldier, praise her tireless work, and suggest a reassignment that would best suit her character. I’m planning to do this in the form of a written proclamation. You might join me, or let the moment find your inspiration. At any rate, please join us all on Tuesday, October 30th at my house, 24 Benton Avenue in Great Barrington. We’ll begin at 6 with a pot luck, and the return of my soups. We’ll circle at 7:15 and finish at 9, as usual. RSVP if you can, or just come, empty handed, if you suddenly find the time. There’s always enough food.And mark your calendars now. On Monday, November 26th we’ll repeat last year’s celebration of our sensuous feminine selves. Plan to revel in your senses with inspiring foods, clothing and music. All month I’ll be sending you little hints and encouragements to fluff you up, so get ready!Celebration of women’s senses and bodies.The delights of sense – tastes that enthrallSouns that help us remember our true natureSights that fill us with wonderSmells that transport usTouch that connects us to delightsI’ll hope to see you at the end of the month. Till then, take in the beautiful end of this glorious year as our Berkshire Hills wrap you in their opulence!Mary

March Gathering with Spirit

March 3, 2008 by gatheringwithspirit | Edit

Dear Women Springing into Springtime,Here it is!!! Spring finally arrives tomorrow. But with a cold and wet day like today, it’s nearly impossible to comprehend that all this rain is playing its appropriate March role. Yet I can imagine all those tight corms and hard seeds beneath the still icy crust softening and expanding as they reach toward today’s defuse sunlight. Because I’ve seen it year after year, I know the sun will arrive earlier and stay later each day, rising higher in the sky, and that in just a few weeks I’ll be putting away my long underwear in exchange for shorts!As women we have more of a natural connection to the extended cycles of the planet than our male Sweeties do. For a major part of our lives we have the potential to create life every month, a cycle that for many thousands of years, tied us inexorably to the cycles of our nearest heavenly body. Reeling with the cycles of our planet and the seasons around us, our bodies unified us with all of creation.Imagine a time when women were seen as foundational to Earth’s productivity, when it was believed that our bodies’ fertility kept the earth in balance. The length of pregnancy measured exactly three seasons; monthly bleeding was perfectly in sink with the cycles of the moon. We were so mysteriously yet intrinsically tied to the creativity of the land that the blood of our monthly “moon time” was sacred fertilizer for the soil.These alliances were obvious facts to cultures linked closely to the Earth. On cave walls and in archeological tells throughout the ancient world, inverted triangular glyphs were potent representations of the sacred nature of the female pubic mound, similar to religious symbols identifying the major religions today. In most of the early pre-historic cultures the female body was worshiped for its sanctity and power.Then patriarchy and empirical scientific thought superseded the old traditions. While I would not wish to vanquish all the development we’ve made as living beings on this Earth, I wonder about the costs of progress. And the harm we’ve caused ourselves and our home in the process. As we’ve drifted into cities and away from the land and starry skies, women have almost completely forgotten our bodily connection to the Earth, much less any recollection of a time when its honoring was foundational to life. So let’s do a little remembering of our own this coming Tuesday, March 25th.Come at 6, as usual, with a dish to share to augment my Springtime Soup. RSVP if you know you’ll be coming, and surprise us if you’ll need to wait and see. But definitely wear RED in honor of our passion and power. Also save Wednesday, April 30th and Friday, May 30th (a weekend night for out of town friends who’d like to join us) for our upcoming Gatherings.I’m sure you’ll enjoy reading Pooja’s intriguing thoughts that follow. A recent Simon’s Rock grad and a frequent Gatherer, she’s spent the last few years fascinated by menstruation as experienced in several different cultures. I’ve asked her to share her understanding about women’s cycles and the truth they bring so powerfully — and often indelicately– into our lives as inspiration for our circle.I’ll be looking forward to hearing your stories!Mary——————————–Dear ladies,For our next gathering this coming Tuesday, March 25th, “Celebrating Women’s Cycles — Menarche to Menopause,” please bring stories about the challenges, trials, wonders, and insights your cycles have given you. For me, my periods have been vital portals into my inner being — its deeper sensations, needs, and desires. They have provided me opportunities for great momentous births, and slow inward descending journeys. It seems to me that the female body, with its unique rhythms, demands great care and attention. In turn our bodies can gift us with unique sensitivity and power. This however is often at odds with the rhythms of the world we live in.Penelope Shuttle and Peter Redgrove in their groundbreaking classic about menstruation The Wise Wound, proposed that, “Supposing society were a lie, the period is a moment of truth that will not sustain lies.” PMS then, emerges in response to this society wherein women and men are expected to be ever productive. (For women this expectation carries itself both in and outside the home.) In a world where as women we must be constantly striving, to get things accomplished, to make it, to make ends meet, the period seems to consistently and poignantly tell us to stop and asks, “How often are qualities such as self-awareness and harmony really valued and encouraged as ends in and of themselves?”Perhaps the period and its accompanying pre-menstrual time act as links to what we as modern humans have lost. The period, for some women, ovulation for others, and menopause for others still are all moments which beg of us to listen, and too often we can’t or don’t.And so the red pulp of our seasonal ripe fruit, or shall we say – our truth — is flushed down the toilet with a feeling of relief or its carrier is wrapped meticulously in tissue paper and placed with a grimace in a receptacle designed for its sanitary disposal. Instead of asking as to why we feel pain, or if we are also disposed to greater insight or spontaneous rapture during these times, we are encouraged to ignore or suppress these cyclic processes and ‘go on’ with our productive lives. Too many women are convinced into believing that their pre-menstrual sensitivity is a sign of weakness, a “syndrome” of their own failure to be in sync with society, instead of questioning the society itself which predisposes women to view their otherwise empowering body processes negatively.More often than not, women are still caught in so many double binds both within their private lives and with the outside world — binds which are inextricably linked with their bodies, cycles, fertility, and well being. Since the days when psychologists ordained that women as a whole were too ill fit during their periods to undertake men’s work including thinking and reasoning, women have been encouraged in recent times to emancipate themselves from ‘the bondage of their female hormones’ with painkillers and birth control pills. From the decades when hormone replacement therapy was all the rage for menopausal women, we have come to a moment in history when science has vowed that it can, for the sake of womankind, completely stop menstruation by taking one simple pill, (not the birth control pill.) What would a world look like where women never bled, and who would this really serve?Leaving you I hope with a swarm of alive thoughts, feelings, and questions, I herald you to the next gathering! Bring your memories of menarche, menstruation, ovulation, and menopause. While I’ve talked a lot here about some of the negative karma that we all have inherited, the gathering will also be a chance to empower and connect us with and through the positive and life-enriching aspects of our cyclic nature. Let us embrace, heal and celebrate in all that is bodily; let us toast to the original flesh and blood – the inner wellsprings of creation and truth within each of us!Sincerely,Pooja

November 2007 Gathering With Spirit

November 13, 2007 by gatheringwithspirit | Edit

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

October 2007 Gathering With Spirit

October 18, 2007 by gatheringwithspirit | Edit