Speaking Your Truth March 2009
How are you at speaking the truth? Your truth? It’s so much easier for many of us to just play nice. To keep the peace. To let the issue float into the past and let a million other daily details crowd for center stage.
There are times, of course, when we can sense that it’s just best to let it go. Don Miguel Ruiz suggests in his book The Four Agreements not to take anything personally. Not to amp up the drama by giving it any unnecessary energy. Choosing not to take offense, and assuming that crazy remark was just a free radical exclamation mark in someone’s already bad day, can keep our own day from going down the tubes.
But then there are those times when something just gets stuck in our craw and won’t go away. Or we observe an injustice that can’t be ignored.
I’m wondering how you deal with these times. And how responsive you are to your own inner knowing.
In this time of wide ranging perspectives on nearly everything, most of us hold the honoring of diversity of thought as one of our highest values. I know I don’t want to come off as judgmental or worse yet, closed minded or arrogant. But then something inside me – that voice I’m always talking about claiming – is jangled by another’s unconscious behavior, and there I am, face to face with my own Truth.
I can turn myself inside out seeing the other side of the situation, imagining how this person could have come to his or her understanding based on life experience….. and on and on.
Or I minimize the importance of what I’m thinking or feeling, saying that it’s just my opinion—and maybe not really True, with a capital T.
Or maybe it’s just not that big a deal.
Sometimes I just numb out to that gnawing truth eating away at me inside. Distractions work so well for that. A busy schedule. Food. Or there’s the excuses…. I need to get through the day, to make life work.
Or I don’t want to face the difficulty or change that might be necessary if I give this pesky thing voice.
And then … there’s the mess I fear I’ll create by speaking out, saying what is really true for me.
OK, this is getting embarrassing. Can you tell just how good I am at talking myself out of anything that could create conflict? Guess that’s why this voice thing is getting so much attention in my life.
But I have a few girlfriends who just say what they think, and that’s that. Sometimes they pay a price for there honesty, but I respect their candor, and how well they trust their own voice, come what may.
So here we are, back where we started. What’s it like for you to speak your truth… or not? What’s given you the courage to speak? And what’s been lost when you haven’t?
Let’s make this the topic of next Tuesday, March 24th’s gathering. Bring a dish to share and a story from your life. Tell us what’s happened when you’ve spoken out, or about a time you’re still wishing you had. Come at 6 for dinner, or if you’re too pressed for time, join the circle at 7:30. If you come late, plan to park at the train station or on Brainard Avenue, just around the corner. And if you do find a spot on Benton, please park only on my side of the street so emergency vehicles could get through. We’ll be finished about 9.
One more thing that may interest some of you… Several years ago nine women from the Gathering with Spirit meetings formed a smaller group to focus on moving along their own projects or intentions with the support and structure created by a committed group.
Initially this Walking Our Talk group agreed to meeting every other week for four months. Maia Conty coached us as we set out on this adventure. After the initial four month goal setting period our shared successes amazed us! We celebrated our achievements, whether financial, professional or personal, and then refused to disband. Getting together was just too good.
We continued to meet monthly in a supportive capacity through this past fall when we reorganized to step into the next round of our own personal voice claiming with commitments to new or continued projects.
Now nearly three years later, we are excited to offer the possibility of a new group forming. You may wish to read a bit more about the successes of this process and comments from participants athttp://claimingourvoices.org/walking-our-talk/
So here are the details:
Anyone interested in exploring this opportunity should attend or have attended the larger Gathering with Spirit meetings in order to comprehend the structure and values inherent in Claiming Our Voices’ circle work.
Early in April the group will meet and explore working together. Then on Monday April 13th at 6:30 pm, the original WOT group will host the new group, sharing by example the format and style that’s made this experience so successful for its participants. Each WOT meeting follows similar guidelines as the Gatherings… timed sharing, no cross talk or advice unless requested, focused attention and honest sharing. Meetings last two hours. Participants agree to attend a pre-determined percentage of meetings to facilitate deep and effective process.
Please contact me at Mary@ClaimingOurVoices.org if you are intrigued.